you wanna hear a bad pickup line?
lana del ray?
more like lana del heYYYYY
wait where r u going ?
i have to get ready to go to dinner but that seems like a lot of effort
food is worth it
eyebrow game stronger than my faith in jesus christ
i didnt know you were an atheist
if ellen degeneres shares pizza at the oscars is she being ellen degenerous
"Hey Carl, you’ve got a major delivery."
“What? C’mon man I was just about to go home…”
“It’s 80 pizzas”
“… Ellen ordered in from the oscars.”